The Season of "Yes!"
We are officially entering the season of “yes”. What I mean by that is… during the holiday season, many of us are expected to meet unrealistic expectations. And, often our go-to response is: “YES, of course!”
There is no doubt this holiday season will look and feel different than any other we have experienced. Some of us might even feel like we are supposed to “BE and DO more” to make up for the pandemic keeping us apart.
But here’s what I have learned: Disappointing others is sometimes a byproduct of honoring ourselves. None of us are perfect, and you are going to disappoint people regardless of what you do. It’s essential to remember that the expectations we must try to meet are to ourselves. I have found one of the key ways to protect my boundaries is to get into the daily habit of asking myself a very simple question:
“What do I need to feel better right now?
Please know that I am not saying we walk around all day pleasing ourselves on every whim, but rather, I’m asking us to be aware of when the tidal wave of overwhelm and resentment begin to build from within, that we have the courage to take a step back and gently ask ourselves ‘what do I need to feel better?’
This initial step is an incredible way to begin a self-compassion practice that can eventually lead us into building a daily self-care routine that feels nurturing and intimate.
Self-care isn’t just about getting our makeup, nails and hair done. Self-care is about discovering what feels good and cultivating a more nourishing, compassionate relationship with ourselves.
I wanted to share with you 5 quick and easy ways to build a self-compassion practices in your life. I created the acronym: C.L.I.M.B. as a guide to help us remember what to do in times of stress.
Let’s all make the CLIMB towards feeling better and saying “No” when it feels right to! YAY!
C- Connection
Having a sense of belonging is essential to the human spirit. When you are feeling separate from others, or you find yourself falling into a “nobody gets me” mindset, it can wreak havoc on your mind, body, and soul. Do all you can to remain connected to those you love. It doesn’t have to be ten people, it can be one person. Just call, text, write- whatever it takes- but be willing to put yourself out there and ask for connection.
L- Laughter:
“Laughter is the BEST therapy!” It’s damn true! I actually have a laughter practice. I follow my favorite Instagram accounts- @thelesliejordan and @mytherapistsays, and I watch dog videos, or I watch clips from my favorite movies: The Hangover, Wedding Crashers, Caddy Shack, Old School, Bridesmaids and SNL is always good too... You name it- just watch a clip- it’s instant mood changer!!
Here are some links to try:
- SNL clip with Will Ferrell wearing a thong - this makes me so happy
- Bridesmaid’s tennis scene. I LOVE this- I grew up playing tennis and this just hits me in the giggle gut every time I watch it!
- Old School montage! LOVE!
- Caddy shack scene - Rodney Dangerfield at his best!
- Hangover old man in his underwear scene - this just kills me!
- Wedding Crashers is a go-to for me.
- Something About Mary - Frank and Beans scene.. I die.
I-Introspection
Okay, so now that you have laughed your ass off, let’s get deep! When I say introspection I am referring to creating a contemplation practice in your life. It can something very easy and quick. I am talking about 5-20 a minutes a day of reflection time. It could be meditation, journaling, restorative yoga poses etc.. Anything where you are able to go within, listen and reflect. I like to think of it as a mind, heart, body check-in. it’s a way to reconnect with yourself and build a more nourishing, compassionate relationship with yourself. In my newly launched Discover E-course, I have over 20 self-care tools that I created to help you learn more about what you need to feel better. Here is one of my favorites: Mind/heart/body check in meditation
M- Move your Body
Our bodies know before our minds how to feel better. But, in the western culture, we are conditioned to believe otherwise. The key is carving out space to allow your body to speak. What I mean by this is: we must use the language of the body to process our thoughts and emotions more healthily. Have you ever noticed that sometimes all the intellectual processing you do just isn’t enough to create a sense of peace and fulfillment within you. And, that sometimes after we intentionally move our bodies- a mindful fast walk, deep stretching, a slow yoga flow, you immediately feel better. Well, this is an example of your body working for you and supporting you in your healing. Again my Discover e-course reviews many ways to for us to incorporate embodied practices into our daily lives. Here is one of my favorites: A restorative yoga- Pigeon pose
B- Breathe:
Finally, breathing is the quickest, easiest way to achieve a sense of calm. Breathing immediately calms our central nervous systems and ignites an automatic relaxation response. Our parasympathetic nervous systems are activated and we feel instant benefits. When we use our breath as our facilitator towards gaining a sense of balance and centeredness, we feel more at home in our mind, heart and body. Again my Discover e-course offers several breathing exercises to try. My favorite is the hand over heart, hand on belly
NeedToBreathe’s newest album: Out of body -
I love every song. Hang On and Seasons feel really on-point right now.
I love Beautiful art!
I’ve had my eye on this piece of artwork for a while now.I am considering asking for it for Christmas this year- fingers crossed! This piece is from the proprietary archives of legendary textile artist, engraver and painter Paule Marrot (1902-1987). Working primarily from 1920-1960, her rich colors and striking geometry put her at the heart the Art Deco movement. Influenced by Renoir and writer Marcel Proust, Marrot captured the natural world in a simple, lyrical style that makes her work as engaging and contemporary today as it was during the height of her popularity. I also have a background in textile design and in some ways I feel it’s a lost art. So- I love how this piece combines retro textile artwork with modern framing.
Fashion find for the week:
Here I am in my new Tory Burch navy, floral dress. What I love about this dress is its ease and elegance. The unexpected hemline is a chic touch to the classic, tunic silhouette Tory is so famous for! I paired it with my Zara over-the-knee high heel boots for a signature fall look!
