I am not sure who said this quote:
“We are all connected, but we are not all the same.”
But, it’s bringing me some comfort in such divisive times.
As I look around at my neighbors and the immediate people in my life, I'm reminded that we all long for the same things— close relationships where we feel loved and understood, a sense of belonging, a feeling of safety and security, a valuable contribution to community, good health and a sense of general happiness and purpose.
The fact remains, that after we account for our basic human needs, things get much more complex. We are all unique, original creatures. As a society, I believe we should honor this more than we do. Instead, many of us choose to live in a vacuum and tend to assume we are all on the same page.
Here’s the deal: we all have different stories, different wounds, different interpersonal relationships, different social programming, different family of origin stories, different genetics, different personalities and natural tendencies--- all of these constructs make up so much of who we are. All of this affects what we are motivated by and what our values are.
This in of itself should give you some relief because it brings a much needed perspective to an issue much larger than our “little worlds.” Once we begin to understand that everyone is different, we can begin to depersonalize and see things more objectively.
All of this makes me think about one of my favorite books, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The second agreement is: “Don’t take things personally”
Ruiz states, “Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world. Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds…”
And one thing I would warn is… if you find yourself 100% of the time surrounded by people who look like you and vote like you, then maybe it’s time to broaden your sphere. The hard truth is: It’s very easy for us live in echo chambers. We remain in situations where we are reinforced over and over again by what we already believe. Don’t get me wrong, many of us do this unconsciously.
But, what if we upend this paradigm? What if we lean into the discomfort? What if we crack ourselves open a bit and see who we can become?
@thelesliejordan Instagram account-
He is the absolute best! I mean the “Delta Dawn” bit with Tanya Tucker just made my life! He has brought me so much joy during a shitty year.
Emily in Paris on Netflix!
This is a fun, light show that reminds me so much of when I lived in New York in worked in the fashion industry. It also makes me feel wistful about travel… take me to Paris NOW please!!!
Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty:
What I love about this book is how he transforms abstract lessons into practical advice and exercises that we can apply into our everyday lives to reduce stress, improve relationships, and discover our gifts.
I’m falling in love with my new Hunter Bell NYC dress!
I love the mixed media design - the patterns and colors all go together unexpectedly. I also went on out on an edge and paired my Rag and Bone combat boots with the dress! Feminine meets street chic! Also can you spot who’s photobombing me?? Ha!!